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The Latest Breaking News from Nige

Enter Nige’s fantasy UK, where crims operate with impunity and only the lucky get out alive

Don’t believe the stats that show violent crime is going down, says Farage: just turn the graphs the other way up and use your own data

The Guardian - UK

“I walk in and see on the board: ‘Beck, Satriani, Lukather, Slash.’ I thought it was a send-up”: Spinal Tap once surprised Nigel Tufnel with an all-star guitar solo tribute – but he wasn't thrilled about it

Explaining (well, bickering about, really) the star-studded Break Like the Wind, David St. Hubbins maintained that the collaboration was merely intended as a friendly gesture from admirers, and that Tufnel misunderstood it

Guitar World

Rachel Reeves is the only one grinning wildly at Keir and Kemi’s dreary display

Kemi thinks the Tories left the country in fine shape and Labour have ruined it. Keir thinks the opposite. Yawn

The Guardian - UK

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MPs and peers make awkward small talk during wait for box-office hit Macron

French president fills seats for stylish Royal Gallery speech, after snubbing Farage and meeting the king

The Guardian - UK

Labour picks on kids as Farage reaches for his human punchbag

The government opens up another fight, while the Reform leader throws his sidekick to the wolves

The Guardian - UK

Farage’s press conference tour is the ideal way to indulge his narcissism

Reform leader has taken to arranging press events for himself around the country on an almost daily basis

The Guardian - UK

Digested week: Mum, Dad, Barry and Herbie the dog – the list of talking dead grows ever longer

I’ve found myself petless for the first time in decades and the house feels empty – a sandwich-eating lion may not be the answer

The Guardian - UK

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Team Keir latch on to lifeline thrown by Nige the narcissist

Starmer throws down the speechlet after Farage strays off-piste with ‘Truss-style’ economic plans

The Guardian - UK

Keir Starmer struggles to take KemiKaze seriously at PMQs

Prime minister and Kemi Badenoch both know Tory leader has run out of dice rolls as all eyes turn to Reform

The Guardian - UK

Nige doubling up, Dicky in No 11 and 30p Lee at foreign? Run for the hills!

As some polls put the Reform party ahead of Labour and the Tories, it might just be time to think the unthinkable

The Guardian - UK

The May elections are a perfect opportunity for Nigel Farage to peddle his politics of grievance

The Guardian - UK

Digested week: Mum has died and my dog has cancer. I skipped World Happiness Day

Trump may have dumped Farage, and Musk has lost $100bn off Tesla’s share price but can’t I even enjoy the schadenfreude

The Guardian - UK

Farage reprises his favourite moans at his latest not-so-special announcement

Just when it seemed the press conference couldn’t get any more underwhelming, Nige introduced his new councillors

The Guardian - UK

The fruit of flattery is tariffs, but Trump-wrangler Starmer takes it on the chin

Despite pandering to Trump’s ego, Labour finds itself in a trade war. At least Reform is still giving comic relief

The Guardian - UK

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The Guardian - UK

A big thank you to Reform for the comic relief in dark times

Very public squabble between Nigel Farage and Rupert Lowe has been a joy to witness – even if predictable

The Guardian - UK

Britain and US bow before Trump as Lammy and CPAC fall silent

Britain’s foreign secretary was supposed to be shooting from the hip, but even one mild criticism of Trump was beyond him

The Guardian - UK

Nigel Farage, Jordan Peterson & co worship each other in alt-right heaven

Welcome to the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship conference, a fatuous echo chamber of self-congratulation

The Guardian - UK

Starmer hoping to survive unnoticed in face of fresh Trumpian hell

PM has decided best way to handle Trump is to praise him, suggest alternatives and hope he doesn’t hear criticism

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Top News

Nigerian Man Extradited To U.S. For Teen's Death

Nigerian man extradited to U.S. faces charges in teen's suicide due to sextortion. Victim was son of advocate against online exploitation.

The Guardian - UK

Starmer out to prove he can be lawyer and leader as he takes initiative on Southport

PM offers balanced, considered response to a hideous crime, but as usual Nigel Farage doesn’t get the memo

The Guardian - UK

Lawyerly Starmer announces Southport public inquiry as opponents cry foul

Opponents hit out without shred of evidence after PM seizes initiative with prompt investigation into killings

The Guardian - UK

Nigel Farage, man of the people, welcomes his latest billionaire to Reform

Like our Nige, Nick Candy doesn’t appear to have any solutions to anything … but he does have very deep pockets

BANG Premier

Robbie Williams writes poignant open letter to former manager

Robbie Williams wrote a poignant open letter to his former manager Nigel Martin-Smith to insist he never blamed him for his drug-taking and personal problems during his early years in Take That.

The Guardian - UK

A dream day for Labour as opposition is reduced to noises off

Reeves is untroubled by a financially illiterate Tory leader, while Starmer allows himself a minor celebration

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